Top 10 Questions You Need to Ask Is Your Marriage Up to Standards?

Have you or your spouse been expecting way too much? Or have you been just breaking even? Maybe you’re settling for less than you deserve? We ask ten sharp questions about your union status.

When the honeymoon days are gone and not every day spent with your hubby seems like the ‘perfect day’ anymore, it may be time to re-evaluate your marriage and what the future holds for the both of you. Freedom may be beckoning you intoxicatingly. But, have you considered whether or not your expectations are a bit unrealistic? Have you got the inlays of a successful marriage, but are holding out foolishly for ‘perfection?’

But, then again, what exactly is a marriage that’s ‘good enough’? After interviewing many experts, we’ve uncovered the top 10 questions that you should ask yourself in order to clarify if your relationship, in spite of being a tad bit imperfect, is really worth another good go:

1. Could you be putting TOO MUCH emphasis on your partner’s negatives?

Everyone’s got their good and bad points. For the next 3 months, try marking your bad and good days in the relationship on the calendar. You might just get a reality check.

2. Have you left this marriage already through emotional withdrawal?

Giving up on attempts to better your relationship is a sign that it’s time to re-think the status of your relationship and its continuity. Can you think of ways to re-engage that old flame? Do you want out from this relationship?

3. Does either of you get angry, hit the other, or throw things about at least once every month?

If you just answered yes to that one, maybe you’re hanging on to a horrible relationship out of fear of loneliness. Or, have you convinced yourself that you can’t do better?

4. Are you frustrated because your wife or husband refuses to change certain habits and traits? Perhaps you would like him to act a bit more manly and forceful at times?

Think about whether or not it’s really important that he do the things you want him to change. Is there a family history that’s been driving you to require such transformations of him? – A father that never stood up for your mother when she needed him.

5. You’ve been teaching the hubby all the wrong lessons. Have you been avoiding questioning his hurtful attitude?

Don’t put up with not saying anything when criticized by him in public. He never washes any of the dishes, so you go ahead and do ‘em. Resentful submission is not a good sign.

6. Do you enjoy yourselves when you’re with each other?

In spite of life and its problems constantly hurling low-ballers at you, do the two of you take time out to joke about it? (That’s a good sign!) If you don’t, perhaps you can consider taking out time for less work and more play in the marriage?

7. Are there conflicts that you’ve avoided in the relationship? What do you fear would happen if you confronted them?

A confrontation can do heaps to help solve this. Think about what your fears are for a confrontation on the conflicts.

8. Do you just need to spend more time together on your own?

Taking off for a weekend just with your partner without the kids and work tensions hogging your back 24/7 might just be the solution. Your hearts will grow fonder of each other as you relive the days when you first met and love blossomed.

9. Has something out of the blue happened? – Big event, loss of job, birth of child, or a death? Is it throwing the two of you off from your relationship? Does it have to be addressed?

Talking it out is much easier than you think it is. Remember that your partner is here with you because, at some point in time, you simply adored each other and understood everything about the other.

10. Do you think you’ve done all you possible could to make this marriage successful? Are you definite he or she has heard the complaints you have?

Consider trying couples therapy or marriage-education class. If he refuses counselling, try going on your own to learn about what else can be done to save this union.

Ponder these questions. You might just remember those joyous aspects of the marriage that have settled dust. Remember how he used to surprise you with candle-light lavender baths and singing Valentine gifts? And, you do make up and talk from time to time – maybe not as often as you’d like to, but perhaps it’s still acceptable? Perhaps you should re-consider hanging up that marriage on clearance racks as you’ve perhaps obliviously done already? Marriage is a verb that’s all about what ‘I do’ for the better, not a one-off noun.

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